Michelle Friedman on Inside the Skev Transcript

Aaron Masliansky (00:01):

Welcome to inside the Skev. And I'm your host Aaron Masliansky. Today we're here with Michelle Friedman and Michelle is an advocate for many different things throughout the community. And you know, we're speaking here over zoom and we were hoping to be, we had scheduled this to be in person. Um, but I'm happy for technology. Um, you know, I go back to knowing Michelle from my time as a elementary school student, the Hill Tara, where you came in to talk about your experience of being a blind person living in the world and you know, how things are the same and how things are different and how you adapt. And you know, we're going through some different things right now to adapt. So why don't you tell us a little bit about, you know, why you're such a great advocate and you know, how have you been adapting to the pandemic and the stay at home order?

Michelle Friedman (00:54):

So one of the things that I, you know, I firmly believe is that as a disabled person, you know, we're all adapting right now, but I think disabled people have learned to adapt in many ways long before the Corona virus. So I think adapting, um, for me is nothing new. I've adapt all the time and have to make adjustments and figure things out. And so I think in some ways I have a leg up and, uh, some of you maybe and adapting. Um, but I do find that, you know, in many ways, in many parts of my life, adapting is what we as disabled people do often.

Aaron Masliansky (01:32):

Yeah. So I mean, in terms of like right now, I mean, what if some of the things been, cause I've, I've read some articles like in some of the newspapers about how it's harder in certain respects for people who have disabilities right now with the stay at home order. But I mean, what are some things that you've dealt with?

Michelle Friedman (01:50):

So it is harder for some people with disabilities. I, there are some issues around decision making. If somebody with a disability that's made the news that if somebody with a disability gets the virus, you know, and there's a limited amount of um, ventilators, those kinds of things. Will disabled people, will the decision be made at disabled people's, you know, are not going to get ventilators because of the quality of, you know, do they have a quality of life? I say that we certainly do and I would not want to be one not to get a ventilator because of my disability. Um, and there are other opportunities, you know, not for me because I live with, you know, enabled bodied husband and I have an abled bodied son that is now owned from college. So grocery shopping for me is not an issue, but grocery shopping can be an issue for people with disabilities and it's already challenging and they need help.

Michelle Friedman (02:39):

And getting that help and you know, is, is can be challenging. Um, you know, I think one of the, so those are challenges. I think one of the areas that I think is a plus for people with disabilities is that, you know, we have been asking for in terms of jobs and other issues, reasonable accommodations, often reasonable accommodations can be working remotely, working from home, doing more stuff on the computer. And now the entire world is doing it. Um, we're all being faced with having to learn new technology. I, the zoom thing is kind of new to me. Um, which has been a little challenged figuring it out, but I've done it. Um, but remote, remote working and remote learning and using the computer is something that disabled people can do quite easily and do easily. And it, you know, we're seeing now that we can all work from home. Most of us don't work them alone.

Aaron Masliansky (03:38):

A lot of us can. Yeah. And it's like when we're forced to do something, um, we're able to shift. And I think that's, you know, one thing that is a real good life lesson, uh, here, you know, to go back to where I first met you, you know, coming and speaking and talking about, um, what you know, you deal with and being out there and you spoken at tons of places, what God gave you that motivation to go and start to be come an advocate.

Michelle Friedman (04:09):

So it's actually, if I can go back a little bit to my early, I've been visually impaired since I was about eight years old. The visually impaired, legally blind, I was able to, you know, get by as a sighted person most of the time, you know, I didn't drive things like that. There were times in school. So for most of my growing up years, I was, you know, visually impaired. But I didn't accept that as part of my identity. I didn't consider myself disabled. I didn't want to be considered disabled, but I was 35 years old. I lost the remainder of my vision and, um, that it became impossible to hide it and pretend anymore.

Aaron Masliansky (04:51):

Yep. And what, what, what's happened at eighth and then what happened? [inaudible].

Michelle Friedman (04:55):

So when I was about five years old, I developed a, um, auto immune disease called uveitis. And I had, secondary to that I had also juvenile rheumatoid arthritis. But the uveitis, which is an, it's an autoimmune disease, your eye, you know, the function of your eye fights itself basically. And secondary to that I got glaucoma, I got cataracts. Um, I had lots of surgery as a child. I had times where I could see a little better. I had vision only in one eye since I was about 10 years old and very minimal vision. I only had, um, mostly I had no peripheral peripheral vision, no night vision. Um, but I, like I said, I, you know, I went to regular school, my peers were um, you know, typical non-disabled students and I didn't want to be different back then. Of course. I'm sorry.

Aaron Masliansky (05:45):

No, I said, of course I'd be if you want to fit in your [inaudible]

Michelle Friedman (05:48):

yeah. And I wanted and that, listen, I'm 62 years old. We're talking long before the Americans with disability disabilities act. And long before there were rules and guidance for schools and my parents. So we kind of figured it all out on our own. We were lucky to have go onto, I was lucky to have gone to a small parochial school. I went to Akiva and Hillel Torah and the Ida Crown Jewish Academy. So I was fortunate that we were able to advocate for ourselves and get, you know, mostly what I needed to be able to get through school. Um, I then went to college and again, pre ADA and you know, I, I never met any people with disabilities. I was so, I didn't have any real role models. I didn't want to be labeled as a disabled person. I felt there would be a stigma. I was very fortunate that in 1980 I had gotten fired from a job in a nursing home.

Michelle Friedman (06:44):

I'm fortunate because I was looking for a job and that was back in the days when we found jobs through, you know, we took out the Tribune and you know, looked in the Tribune for the Sunday when they had all the ads for jobs to got my little magnifying glass. And I scoured and I, I needed a job that I had a mental health background. I had a bachelor's degree in psychology. Um, I have not yet gone from my master's, but, um, I was looking for a job in the mental health profession. I needed one that didn't require driving cause I couldn't drive, couldn't, no. Getting around town was a little challenging for me. Um, I, because I was, you know, not admitting that I was disabled, I didn't go for any orientation, mobility training. I had no training. I failed braille back when I was 16. I actually failed braille twice since then, but that's another story.

Michelle Friedman (07:35):

Um, and I happened to come upon a job that said disability preferred. I, I nearly fainted. I couldn't get my resume in the mail fast enough. Um, I was very fortunate. I actually went for an interview when I walked into what was access living, which was brand new at the time and independent living center downtown. And everybody in there was disabled, um, staff or disabled everybody. But the, the, uh, driver that they had that they had a driver that worked for them, he was the only able body person. I mean, there were people with, you know, there were in wheelchairs. There was, um, a woman who had no arms and legs was an electric wheelchair who drove a van. I mean, it was life changing for me. I know all I wanted was that job and I was very fortunate to have gotten that job. And from that day, from that point on in my life, I realize I was disabled and there wasn't a stigma to think the Sable that I could be a highly functioning, successful, disabled person and embrace my disability. Um, I became a disability advocate way back then. Um, we were the first independent living center in Chicago. We were working with individuals, helping them to gain their independence, um, as well as advocating in the community and nationally, um, for disability rights.

Michelle Friedman (09:05):

It, it defined me, it defined me and it allowed me to accept my disability and be proud of my disability. But I was, I was still visually impaired. I was, you know, still had some sites and you know, there were times when I could still say good if I wanted to within my community. I got, I got my masters when I was at Xs living, I got married and I got pregnant with my first son. Well, I didn't get pregnant at access living, but I did get when I was at access living and I made the decision to stay home with my son when it was time to go back to work after my maternity leave. And I needed some way to, um, I wanted to be involved and be active and not just be a stay at home mom, but also be able to be a Santa on them, which is when I got involved in volunteering in my community with the kids school.

Michelle Friedman (10:02):

I was on the board of the whole Torah. Um, I did some work with, um, salvo, which is the agency that helps Jewish domestic violence, um, victims of domestic as well. But I wanted to give back and I was able to do that. And then at the age of 35, I lost the remainder of my vision I had had, um, because my, I was so sick, I had had some corneal decompensation and kind of complicates involved. But I had some surgery to have a cornea transplant cause the, I was such an unhealthy, I, it was unsuccessful so I had lost the remainder of my vision, you know, that that morning of the surgery and well I had a very difficult first year. I had a how did you cope with that? So I didn't cope with it so, well actually the first year I um, there were a lot of, nobody told me what it would be like nobody told me that there were also, you know, your brain needs time to adjust and there would be some, you know, visual sensations that you get that would throw you off.

Michelle Friedman (11:08):

And you know, I didn't know what to expect or what some of what I was going through is normal. So I actually had about a year of what I call my little loving bout of agoraphobia. Um, I became an expert liar that year. Protect, you know, not, not admitting that I was having anxiety and panic disorders to most people that I couldn't leave my house. Um, but I had two small children. I had a, I think back then I had a, I think they were five and eight, something like that. So I had two choices. I couldn't given to the anxiety and panic disorder and never leave my house, never do things with my kids. I missed my daughter's. Um, um, I think at that, I forgot what I missed. I missed something that she had cause I got in the car and was on my way and turned to my essence and I can't go.

Michelle Friedman (12:01):

I can't go, I can't do it. Take me home. And I, I, he went, I stayed home because I was just really struggling being outside and seeing people or just, it was more being outside and just if there was a sense of loss of control, you know, not to be too graphic, you know, there were issues that went through my head. Like, what if I got sick and I was, you know, alone and what have I got? We had to go to the bathroom and there was nobody there to help me to the bath, those kinds of issues. So they created a great deal of anxiety. I have since found out that that is not unusual for people facing disabilities. Um, you know, they came on suddenly like that, but nobody told me that. And I had no role models. I had no guidance. I was fortunate in that I had a very supportive family.

Michelle Friedman (12:48):

Um, but I also realized that I had two choices. I could live like this and not leave my house and not go to my, you know, stop my organizational involvement, not do things with my kids or I could get my, you know, kept my, get my stuff together. Yeah, I'll keep it clean. And I went for help. I went for, um, I went for some therapy. I got, you know, I didn't want to be, I, I had gone on antianxiety medications. I didn't want to spend the rest of my life on those. So I really did. I went for help. I got some mobility in orientation training to be able to use the cane, which I had a significant amount of, um, inks about using. There was something about the white cane that, you know, I felt, I felt that I was going to be judged by my cane and not by who I was. And the first thing people saw was my cane and that, you know, who I was. I have to get through that and it'll learn some and try it again to learn braille and I failed again, but I don't, that's okay. You know, and I don't, I really, I do a lot of audio books, you know, everything in my house talks to me except my husband and my college age to parents.

Michelle Friedman (13:58):

You know, my computer talks to me, my phone actually, they do talk to me. I must be thankful for technology now. I can't imagine what it would've been like to lost my vision 30 years ago. I had never actually touched a computer before I went blind. I didn't know the first thing about a computer. I didn't really even know how to type because in high school when we were taking, we had a choice of typing or I think maybe it was home-ec. I don't remember. I didn't want to learn to type because what, you know, being a court stenographer was one of those typical jobs. Blind people got to the department of rehab services and I didn't want, that's not what I wanted for myself. So, you know, I did have that year of having to get myself my head together and you know, get my ducks in a row, learn some new skills, learn some new coping skills.

Michelle Friedman (14:45):

And after that, you know, nothing, there was nothing stopping me from doing anything I wanted and I got back into life full swing. And just to answer your question, I was a long way to get, to answer your question. Um, I embrace my, my identity as a disabled person. And I felt it was my responsibility, my, my perhaps my purpose in life to educate kids, educated adults and do what I could to bring the, the, um, I can't think of the word, but the bring disability awareness to the forefront. And so that's what I do. Um, I am, you know, besides my family, my two passions are disability awareness and my organizational work and they, they are also hand in hand.

Aaron Masliansky (15:40):

Well I think it's incredibly important. And you know, I look back to when I grew up and you know, you coming into speak and you know, Kesha was at the school and they're, they're a wonderful organization that helps people with, you know, different, a variety of disabilities and with their education. And um, you know, it kind of breaks down those barriers of the unknown. And you know, I think that probably back in the day there, there was a lot of making fun of and stigma, which is so cruel in many ways. But those, you know, when you've done and what the, you know, Kesha and I know you're involved there has really helped, um, you know, just make everyone comfortable with each other and realize that we have so many similarities in how we can each benefit each other and we're all the same people, you know?

Michelle Friedman (16:31):

Right. So, right. So I actually, I wrote a children's book. I actually wrote two children's books, my first children's book, which was my second one that I published. Um, it was just a sort of a fun book that I actually illustrated with a friend of ours, Debbie gala. She illustrated it for me. It was my first book. I had done it because I couldn't read books to my grandchildren and I would tell them stories. Um, and I had this brilliant idea one day to write the story down, but my first book, which was actually my second book that I published, is called close your eyes. And I wrote that because it's about a young girl who is blind and all the things she can do, but she has to do differently. And you know, the friendships. But I wrote that for two reasons. One is I wanted nondisabled children to have a book and a story that showed kids that while we're all the same and we're all different, I mean, we're all different.

Michelle Friedman (17:21):

We're all the same and it's, you know, we learned from each other. Um, and we, you know, if we can, if we can get past some of the stigmas we have, we can learn from each other about our differences and what makes us the same. And, um, but I also wrote the book also for young disabled children to have a book about them. That was a story that showed them as the main character. Um, and when, and I use that now in schools and I talk about that we really are all, you know, we're all the same and we all have differences. And what a freaking boring world it would be if everybody was like me. I mean, like, let me know. I may be interested in my seconds. Um, but there would be a really boring world if we were all the same. And if everyone was like me, I would be important roles.

Aaron Masliansky (18:10):

Yeah. What's interesting is that some of these books that, you know, you read about like futuristic books of um, you know, like 1984 different things like that where there were the nightmares that everybody is the same and everybody a totalitarian is like, uh, you know, we're, it's communism or whatever it may be. And I think one of the beautiful things is that we have so many differences that we can appreciate that makes it all interesting.

Michelle Friedman (18:35):

Right? Yeah. And you know, we talk about inclusion and you know, that's a big word now and you know, inclusion is fabulous, but I, I really believe that inclusion is a means to an end and the end is belonging. We all belong in this world. Whether we're in a wheelchair, whether we use a white cane, you know, whether we're deaf, um, you know, we're hard to whatever it is. Um, the ideal is blogging. I belong in this world with my differences, with my strengths, with my weaknesses, with, you know, with certain things that I need help the same way you do and everybody else does. And I, I want to belong and not just be included. I actually feel that, you know, for the most part, I have found that place of belonging that came from being included.

Aaron Masliansky (19:24):

Absolutely. Absolutely. And the book, you know, I, I've read it and it's, it's just a great way to reach kids and to, to show that in an easy manner.

Michelle Friedman (19:36):

Right. So that was my goal. And I use it too, you know, when I go into schools, which I used to do that a lot. I desirous seems to, you know, put a little damper on that. Um, but I do, I re, you know, I saw the teacher or somebody who was with me reads a book and we talk about it and we do this whole kind of with the little kids. I do this whole interactive thing where we, you know, I showed them ways, you know, we talk about, they ask me questions, I showed them ways and you know, I don't hear better than the average person. Um, I just use my hearing better. And I showed them ways that we do that. And sometimes I think just by being there with my cane, you know, being a blind person, answering their questions breaks down a lot of the barriers.

Michelle Friedman (20:18):

You know, it, it normalizes, it normalizes disability, it normalizes blindness. Um, you know, they're not afraid. They, my, my hope would be that as we, you know, talk about disability issues with little kids and I go into schools and other people go into schools that, you know, down the line, some point in the future, disabled people being in the workforce and the school for us, you know, being in the world, all that will be just normal. There won't be an, you know, there will, I'm sure there will always be a need for the laws, but the lawns won't be necessary because it won't be, it'll be a given. Not a, not a mandated thing.

Aaron Masliansky (21:00):

Right. Let's just do what people do. I mean, I imagine with kids there's also, you know, a lot of questions that they may have. What are, what are some of the questions that they've asked you?

Michelle Friedman (21:11):

Well, it depends on the age. The little kids are the best. They want to know how I get dressed. They want to know, um, you know, I do this thing where I say, do you think I can ski? And they go, no. I go, I can, I have. And I go, you know, do you think that I can do ceramics and make pottery and bowls? They go, no. I say, I do. You know, and I go on with a few things, you know, do think I can horseback ride and then I get to do thing I can drive. And they go by now. They go, yeah, I go, no, I can't. I, and I, they, but they'll ask me, how do I get dressed? How do I brush my teeth? How do I eat things like that. And you know, I don't, I never mind the questions I want them to know I do those things.

Michelle Friedman (21:53):

Most of those things the same as they do. I don't read the same as they do. I listen to books and, you know, audio, I'm an avid reader and I listen to books, thank God for audible right now. Um, but I, I've, you know, I love their questions. You know, and then they'll, you know, the last may, you know, do I have a dog and I used it, but you know, not that kind of a dog. And you know, how do I take care of my dog? How do I clean up the poop? Things like that.

Aaron Masliansky (22:22):

Last question they may ask you though is when you dream, do you see things?

Michelle Friedman (22:27):

Oh yes they do ask me that. Now that's usually not the littlest kids. The sort of the first, second, third graders. They do ask that. That's a common one. And it's interesting cause they, you know, I tell them, I, I do dream, I happen to be what's called, um, advantageously blind, meaning I became blind before the, after the age of three years old. So I have images in my head. If you ask, you know, say to me, it's a red ball. I can make a picture in my head of a red ball. So I have images and pictures in my head. I do dream in pictures. And the best part of my dreams is I am always cited in my dreams. It's great. And the best part is I drive in my trains. I have actually in my dreams, I have actually been known to drive a car. It's amazing,

Aaron Masliansky (23:16):

amazing what can happen in dreams. I mean, right now I've been experiencing the weirdest dreams I've ever had in my life. Uh, and I think it's common with what's going on with the Corona virus for people are afraid. I mean, um, you know, so it's, it's vivid, but I imagine it's, it's, um, you know, it must be unique for, for you to have dreams where you can see and you could, you know, I actually, one thing that I, I find interesting to go back a little bit is I didn't learn how to ride a bike until I was 22 years old. And I don't know why. It just, I tried as a kid, I couldn't get it. And I finally took a class when I was 22 and, um, I learned, but for years I would have dreams where I was riding a bike before I knew how it was just like something that's like a logical to let myself, like get over this. I mean, I imagine that's with you driving a car to many ways,

Michelle Friedman (24:11):

but yeah. Yeah. And I, I, when I first went blind that first year, I had some pretty scary, really crazy. I mean, they were crazy dreams and I think that's how our mind, um, Koch is with trauma and with, you know, difficult things. I mean, I had some crazy dreams scary during that I wake up sweating and all that was kind of dreams, but I don't have those anymore. Um, but I think, you know, our mind deals with trauma and a lot of different ways and this is going to be a, this is going to be an interesting time moving forward from this whole thing we're dealing with now. Um, you know, with, with trauma and you know, dealing with those kinds of things, it's going to be an interesting time.

Aaron Masliansky (24:50):

It is. One of the organizations that you do a lot of work with is Institute for therapy through the arts. And I had Jenny Rook on who's the executive director and um, you know, they do some great, great work, um, with doing therapy through many different manners where it could be music therapy, it can be art therapy, it can be drama therapy. What got you into working with them.

Michelle Friedman (25:15):

So it's actually a kind of an interesting story. I, I consider myself a professional volunteer. I have been serving on boards for the past 30 years. Um, so, and that's a volunteer position I had served on, but seven or eight different organizations and I've served in the capacity of president of the few. I'm the fundraising chair of a few. Um, I actually had retired a couple years ago from volunteering and doing board work, but, um, I got back involved with cash out and realized how, you know, they asked me to serve on the board and I, after a little hemming and hawing, I said yes, because I believe in the word cash it does. Um, but I also realize how much I enjoy, um, board involvement and getting involved with organizations that I believe in. And one of the organizations that I got involved in was ADA 25 advancing leadership, which is a disability organization that has several parts to it.

Michelle Friedman (26:15):

They train people to be civic leaders. They train people to be disability advocates. And I got involved with one of their projects that they link, um, disabled people who want to serve on boards with organizations in the community and you fill out a form and you put your number one, number two, number three, um, you know, what you would like to be in love with. And I saw an Institute for therapies for the arts. They do creative, um, they do therapy using the creative arts as you said, and um, as a mental health professional and as somebody who has been doing ceramics for the past 12 years. And I love the creative aspect of the ceramics and I certainly love mental health. I was very intrigued with Institute for therapists and the arts. I put them down as my number one choice. And, um, I met with Jenny and their president at the time and interviewed for a board position.

Michelle Friedman (27:10):

And fortunately for me, they, um, asked me to serve on the board and it fit for me, both in terms of, um, my board involvement. It's a younger organization. They're only four years old. I liked the idea of getting involved again in a new young organization and helping them continue to grow and fundraise, et cetera. And if it might, my creative, you know, I believe in the healing powers of the creative arts. Um, for me doing pottery and ceramics is, is healing. It's normalizing. I, I go to the Evanston art center and I am, I'm just another one of the, you know, one of the gang is nothing about, you know, there's no big deal about my blindness. They accommodate me. They, you know, help, um, make things easier for me. But I'm just one of the, I'm just one of the gang and it's very normalizing.

Michelle Friedman (28:05):

And I know that the creative arts can be very healing. So Institute for therapy to the arts fit for me. And right now with everything going on, um, you know, I, I see a great need for ITA. Um, they are actually doing tele-health. Um, they're happy and they, you know, increase their tele-health, you know, the insurance pays for it, but they're also offering more in terms of sliding scales to make sure that people can be served. And I think right now, you know, the creative arts can be an amazing healing, um, opportunity for people who are going through trauma and, you know, dealing with difficult things. So for me, having done that a year, I think it's been an, it hasn't been a year, but getting on the board of, um, it was just a fabulous opportunity for me. And it came at the right time for me as the pastor.

Aaron Masliansky (29:01):

They are, they are great. And I know, I've spoken with Jenny and they were trying to transition everything to the telehealth. This is a month ago and I know so many of their clients are at senior care facilities and they can't go in there. Um, obviously cause uh, uh, you know, trying to prevent any, spread up, any disease. Uh, but this is the time that everyone needs each other. So I'm so glad they're able to do the telehealth and really continue to serve the community.

Michelle Friedman (29:30):

Yeah. And, and they're, you know, there's some of the hospitals, it's been challenging to get in there, but they're, you know, we're still offering, you know, our services and, you know, to the, you know, this, you know, we'd go into schools well, and now there's no school but they're around and they're there. They're willing to, you know, make it work so that people can get the help they need. And I think we are, I think the next thing we're going to be dealing with as a mental health pandemic after this.

Aaron Masliansky (29:55):

Yeah. It's fun. Yeah, I agree. Especially with people losing jobs and whatnot and lives and it's tough. Um, you know, but I think one of the things that you do also is your life coach. And you, you know, we've talked about this now where you've gone through some adversity and a lot of people are going through, everyone's going through adversity right now. We're all going in this together, which actually is, you know, kinda kinda helpful where we can all have this shared experience. But what are some of the things that you do as a life coach and you know, how do people work with you?

Michelle Friedman (30:31):

So, you know, it's interesting cause you know what, we're now getting into telehealth and telemedicine and remote working. I've been doing it since I started coaching. Um, I think it's been like 18 years. Um, life coach, my life coaching and most life coaching has done over the phone. Um, now that I'm seeming to get expert at zoom, I could do it on zoom too actually. But, um, it's not therapy so we're not dealing with, I sort of equate it with driving a car, which you know is ironic, but I equate it with driving car. But you know, I look at therapy as looking behind in the rear view mirror and what got you to here. But I look at life coaching as looking forward and you know, how do we go from here to where you want to be in the future. You know, I serve as sort of a cheerleader and a, you know, I can, you know, be there right alongside you.

Michelle Friedman (31:23):

I can, you know, help you figure out ways, you know, you're figuring out the ways that I'm there to help guide you and you know, help you get through the mountain, over the mountains and around the mountain to get to your goal. Um, so it's all very goal oriented and future focused as opposed to therapy, which is really looking at how I got here. Um, this is about, you know, moving forward and I do all my work on the phone. Um, and so it's not so nothing, so I don't have to change anything with this new reality.

Aaron Masliansky (31:55):

It's no different. Nope. I feel like you get a lot of joy in, in helping people overcome these things and you know, be, you know, all the work that you do. Right.

Michelle Friedman (32:07):

I do, I do. And I, I get, you know, all my work is kind of different from my life coaching, which deals, you know, one on one with people who want to move forward to my, going into schools and talking to kids. I'm working, you know, on boards like Casha and ITA. I do get an a, you know, they all have an element of growth and helping and moving forward. And I do enjoy that part.

Aaron Masliansky (32:32):

I think it's wonderful, you know, where can people reach out to you if they want to, you know, just get touch with you or do life coaching or

Michelle Friedman (32:41):

so they can reach me on my email address, which is M Friedman of R I E D M a n1204@gmail.com or my Facebook page, Michelle Rosen Friedman. I also have an Instagram account, um, which is out of sight, ceramics cause I do, so I do my ceramics and I post it on there cause I also have an Etsy page. Um, and uh, you know, Facebook, I pretty much, those are red I think.

Aaron Masliansky (33:13):

And you're on LinkedIn too, right?

Michelle Friedman (33:15):

Oh, I am in LinkedIn. I always forget about LinkedIn. Yes, I am on LinkedIn. You know, I'm a little old, so you know, all this technology and all this LinkedIn and Facebook and Instagram and now I hear tic-tac, which I'm never going on, but I, it's, you know, it's all a little, it's awesome. It's a learning curve for me. And I, one thing I can honestly say is over the last so many years I have, I've learned a lot. Fortunately I have a college age student who helps me along and he's home right now. That's very helpful. Yes. My grandchildren seem to know a little bit more about this technology than I do. It's fascinating.

Aaron Masliansky (33:53):

Well, my kids are seven and nine, almost 10. And I feel like they've gone through a transformation in the past month where they're like teenagers now because they're using Facebook messenger for kids and you know, we're doing, um, you know, they're playing remote games, like Rummy Q, my daughter was playing with my, with my mom, and then they're like, you know, video chatting and my dad's playing strata, baseball in the place. And it's just like, it's, it's a very interesting time and I feel like we've all, like, we all pushed to adapt and to learn new things in order to be able to cope with what's going on.

Michelle Friedman (34:30):

Listen, I've got kids, I've got grandchildren in Israel and I've got grandchildren in Philadelphia, so I'm, you know, we were actually supposed to go in Israel for Passover. We did say that didn't happen, but I'm, I don't know what I'm going to see my kids again. But we've been doing, um, we and I want them to be connected with each other. So we've been doing, we did a zoom, um, scavenger hunt one day at a zoom talent show, which is interesting for me, but, you know, I want, I want the kids to be engaged with me and with each other. And, you know, we've, we, we do what we have to do, which is basically how I live my life as a disabled person. I do what I have to do. I figure out, and I, and most disabled people that we've figured out what we have to do. I always say necessity is the mother of invention. Um, we do what we have to do and I'm okay sometimes saying, you know, I need help or I'm willing to say, you know what? I don't really want to be doing this, so I'm not going to do, and I can be okay with that. Usually

Aaron Masliansky (35:31):

that's the key for all of us,

Michelle Friedman (35:33):

right? But we're not always, not all of us are always willing to, I'm, you know, I'm okay with it. Uh, I, you know, I started out with this whole disability thing, feeling I needed to be this super blind woman and I needed to be an example for everybody and I had to do it. I do use my cane all the time and I had to learn braille and I then I really gave my self permission to, I don't have to do it all if, if learning braille doesn't work for me, it's not stopping me from reading books and giving speeches and all that. I just figured it out to do a different way. Um, so I think we have to be kinder to each other and be kinder to ourselves and give ourselves permission to do the best we can do. As long as it's the best we can do the best we want to do.

Aaron Masliansky (36:18):

You're right. Well, Michelle, I really appreciate you coming on the show and talking with everybody and giving us such a inspiration today and um, you know, just, just thank you and keep doing what you're doing.

Michelle Friedman (36:31):

And if anybody wants to know about my book, I'm actually going to be putting them on my Instagram and Etsy shop, whatever that's called, uh, today or tomorrow, so that everybody's is interested in my books. They can look it up there.

Aaron Masliansky (36:43):

Okay. And I'll also post a link to it in the show notes.

Michelle Friedman (36:46):

Great. Aaron. A pleasure as always. You've grown up a lot.

Aaron Masliansky (36:49):

A little bit.

Speaker 3 (36:50):

Yes. It's nice to see you are growing up with kids of your own. Thank you. Thanks Aaron. I appreciate it. Take care.

Speaker 4 (37:19):

[inaudible].